Getting Along With Parents

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Kids and teens should learn how to get along with parents

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Role of parents

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When kids are born, they are dependent on their parents. But when they grow up and see the world with their own eyes and perception then they develop their own point of view and thinking process.

Sometimes, we parent like their ideas and sometimes we want to change their thinking or simply say no to their lot of things.  This creates a difference in the relationship.

This topic is about getting along with your parents in particular or those adults who live with and look after kids for instance grandparents or aunts and uncles.

These may be foster parents, grandparents, other family members or life partners of your birth mum or dad.

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The process of growing up is natural

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When kids were very little, they used to communicate with their parents in lots of different ways.

They would have a hug or touch each other, smile and be happy to see each other, play together, express your feelings easily to each other, simply talk to each other and be together almost all the time.

But When kids went off to kindergarten and then school, they spent less time together because they had other people to talk to, play with, and learn from.

As they get older, they become less dependent on their parents and more dependent on themselves. That’s how it should be. That’s part of growing up. And it is quite natural.

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Communication is an important part of the child-parent relationship

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But communication between kids and their parents is not any less important. In fact, it becomes more important as kids reach their puberty years.

Parents want to know that you are safe and happy, they show their concern and they ask questions.

They want to know about their friends, where they are going, what they are doing, and lots of other stuff that kids may feel they don’t always need to know! Kids should remember that their parents still love and care for you and they are still responsible for them.

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The ways of communication changes when kids grow up

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Communication is very important, although the ways in which you communicate may change.

Kids might not be spending too much time with their parents or not bonding through hugs or cuddles as they were little. But it is not worrisome as long as kids and parents find some ways of communicating with each other.

It could be through phone calls, text messages, video chats when they are out with friends or going out on a school trip, or just meeting friends for group studies.

Kids can leave small notes for their parents when they are not around.

Similarly, parents should also inform their kids they are concerned for their safety and well-being wherever they are without usurping their independence, privacy, and freedom to express.

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Kids and parents should sit and find ways to communicate for future

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Kids and your parents may need to work out ways to communicate that give you all some independence, privacy, and the freedom to express yourself in a positive way.

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As kids you may want to talk about rules set by parents

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There are rules about privacy and everyone’s own space

There are rules about going out with friends

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Kids should know how to talk to their parents

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It is a crucial time that kids should learn how to talk to their parents in order to get heard in response.

Shouting, screaming or banging doors is not a good sign of manners being showed by kids. It is an alarming sign of rebellious behavior.

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How to talk with parents

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If you want someone to listen to you then you have to listen to them.

Good listening is like this:

• being respectful when talking to parents
• saying back to your parents what you think they mean
• looking at the person who is talking
• making yourself clear in a respectful way
• listen to them carefully and waiting until they finish before saying anything
• talking quietly, and calmly in a relaxed environment
• being prepared to negotiate not to fight – no-one can always have everything all his own way

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Ask for help or go for family therapy session

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For kids who are having problems communicating with their parents should not be ignored.

If they keep on showing absurd behavior then it is a red signal for parents to talk to their kids and ask them what they are going through at school or what is happening in their life.

What kind of friends they have and is there any conflict that is going on with their friends or siblings even?

Sometimes bullying bothers many kids at school which they cannot tell anyone. If this is the case with your kid then it is time to seek professional help.

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Summing Up

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The strength of the family foundation lies in developing good and healthy relationship between the children and the parents. That goes a long way in building long lasting relations in families.

You can also read an article on How to get along with parents